Posts tagged self-reflection
100 Signs That You Don't Love Yourself (Take the Quiz Right Now!)

Real talk: we go to great lengths to make ourselves “lovable.”

We lose 30 pounds, change our hair color, read self-help books, try to appear interesting and beautiful so that others will see our worth and love us.

We do this because we secretly believe that, if other people, especially our significant others, love us, then all of our issues will magically disappear.

After all, love is the reason we’re here, right? The truth: yes and no.

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What a 7 Year Old Taught Me About Affirmations (and Life, In General)

My bonus son, James, is an amazing kid.

He is funny, kind, creative, and silly. James loves to draw and ask lots of questions. He also tries to answer those questions and I’m always amazed by his answers. We laugh a lot and he reminds me not to take myself and everything else so seriously (which I have a tendency to do).

When I first met James, we struggled. We were trying to find our flow and get to know each other. We struggled especially when it came to one of my favorite things in the entire world: food.

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The #1 Mistake People Make When It Comes to Affirmations

I always knew that I wanted to be in the music business.

My earliest memories are of me sitting on my swingset in the backyard of my grandmother’s home in Waco, Texas and singing my little heart out. I would make up songs and sing them all day long. My favorite cartoon was Jem. During the summertime, I’d stay up all night watching music video stations like MTV, VH1, BET, and CMT (back when they actually played music videos) and I’d also listen to the Quiet Storm on Dallas’ R&B and Hip Hop station, K104. I’d spend hours making my own mixtapes, carefully crafting the tracklisting and waiting for what seemed like an eternity for specific songs to play on the radio.

Those were definitely different times back then, Honey Bunny!

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In What Area of Your Life is the Conundrum of Change Affecting you?

Right now, I feel really stuck when it comes to my health.

I am not eating as healthy as I would like to and I’m not exercising the way I used to in my pre-baby days. The excuse I’ve been using is that I don’t want to stress myself out with so many irons in the fire. I want to be an amazing mami and an entrepreneur. I reason that some things will fall by the wayside like housework and health. I also am letting Mommy Thumb keep me from breaking a sweat. It’s crazy because I know that when I exercise and eat right it actually makes me feel better. I have more energy to chase my daughter and more creativity to offer my clients.

I know this. I want this. Yet I don’t do it. This is the conundrum of change in full effect, Honey Bunny.

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Is This the Real Reason You're Staying Stuck in Life?

I’m convinced that one of the worst feelings in the world is holding on to a situation, a person, a mindset that no longer serves our growth or highest good.

I know how this feels firsthand because I, too, have held on longer than I should have several times in my life. From staying at different jobs that stressed me out and didn’t pay me what I was I worth to relationships with friends that were filled with drama, negativity, and gossip, I have overstayed my welcome in circumstances that did not serve my highest good.

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What is One Small Step You Can Take Toward Your Dream Life?

In order to determine which areas of my life are not authentically my own, it’s been really helpful to examine my attitude, specifically for any topic where I am using the word “should.”

I am firm believer that self-awareness is the first step in any change we make. In order to know where I am stuffing myself inside of something that really isn’t mine, I’ve got to know where exactly that is.

I did some self-examination and this is what I found:

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Why Stuffing Yourself Inside a Life That Isn't Truly Yours Is NOT The Way to Go

*In my best Sophia Petrillo voice*

Picture it. Waco, Texas. 2000. A young LaTisha Cotto is determining where she wants to go to college. She has received several offers from prominent institutions across the United States of America. Some of these colleges are located in her home state of Texas and others in places like Boston, Memphis and Atlanta. Where should she go? Which college will she pick?

If we were really watching a TV show, this is where the episode would end. Gotta love a good cliffhanger.

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What New Story Are You Creating For Yourself?

Today Lyric turns one year old.

Where has the time gone? Where is my little 6 lbs, 2 oz baby? My pregnancy was difficult and I ended up having a c-section after her heart rate dropped drastically two times during labor and delivery. My incision didn’t heal properly and post partum blues hit me hard. I lost hair and got Mommy’s thumb and I did not feel like a good mom at all. It has taken pretty much this entire year to feel somewhat normal in my body and my daily routine.

Yet here we are -- thriving and blooming in love, joy, and harmony.

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It Doesn't Matter How Your Story Begins

I finally got to see A Wrinkle in Time and let me tell you, it did not disappoint.

In fact, there were several parts that I found myself tearing up. I could identify greatly with Meg, the protagonist, and how she didn’t think that much of herself. I think we have all been there.

At one point during the movie, Mrs. Which, played by the great Oprah Winfrey, says to Meg, “Do you realize how many events, choices, that had to occur since the birth of the universe leading up to the making of you? Just exactly the way you are.”

All. The Feels.

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What Does Giving Yourself Your Best Chance Look Like?

Believe it or not, I put off writing the answer to this IWW for a week because I dreaded having to face the answer.

I know exactly where I am not giving myself my best chance and saying it out loud would make me accountable to all of you. I found myself saying, “Can’t I just write something else, anything other than this?”

Nope.

So here I go.

Giving myself my best chance would look like me doing what I say I’m going to do. I’m specifically thinking about the social media calendar I’ve created for 2018.

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Name Your Genius

My genius is that I am really good at vibing with people from all walks of life.

For example, when you look at all of my friends, they are each very, very different. We talk about very different things, too. For example, my friend, Amy, is my silly friend. To this day, we joke like little girls on the playground. My friend, Bevin, is my entrepreneurial friend. We love to jam out on our businesses, our dreams, our future. My friend, Lauren, is my fun friend. We love to talk about having a good time, music, adventure. My friend, Angela, is my sister. She gives me room to be myself with no judgment. Granted, I realize I am grossly simplifying these women into one sentence descriptions. However, they are just too wonderful to capture in a blog post.

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What Does Self-Love Look Like In Your Life?

I’ll admit that when I first heard the term “self-love,” it sounded like some code word for masturbation. 😬

While I learned the importance of loving myself, I’m not certain I ever knew that there was a specific term to denote the process. However, you’re talking to someone who didn’t know there was such a thing as hot tea until I was 16 years old. True story. 😬

I digress.

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I Love Me: Taking The Necessary Steps Back to Self-Love

A good friend of mine recently recounted to me the first time she accepted less than she deserved and started to believe the story of her unworthiness.

As a sixth grader (sixth grade!!! The mom in me shudders), she had fallen head over heels for a boy in her class. He was cute, charming, and, much to her surprise, into her. “LaTisha, he was way out of my league and I couldn’t believe he was into me. I was tomboyish and chubby. He asked me out and I agreed. I was 11 years old. It was the most powerful, intoxicating feeling -- that young love feeling. So much so, that even as an adult I can close my eyes and still feel that feeling of hope, wanting, and love. I have never felt that way since.”

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What Strategy Can You Employ to Battle Imposter Syndrome?

I’m going to put on my Career Development Coach hat for a second.

When I worked with one of my HVAC students, I made sure that he was fully prepared to rock his interview. This meant that I would conduct a mock interview with him. My students were expected to dress for the mock interview and come prepared as if it were the real thing.

I was super serious about it, too. I asked them difficult questions that tripped them up and judged every single aspect of the experience. Afterwards, I gave them extensive feedback on how they did. If they completely bombed it, we re-scheduled the interview as many times as they needed. No student of mine was gonna be going into a real interview looking a fool. Not on my watch, boo.

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What Triggers You

After many years of self-reflection, I know that I am deeply triggered when someone cuts me off during a discussion. It has happened to me many times that I’ll be having a difficult conversation with someone. The person expresses his or her opinion and, right when I am about to respond, he or she says to me, “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

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