Resolve to be Kind

When you start your self-love journey, you may experience what firefighters refer to “backdraft” (when they first open the door to put out a fire, the flames actually intensify). In other words, things might get worse before they start getting better.

Think about it: if you’re a firefighter and you open the door to a room that’s on fire, you’re introducing air into the room. A fire actually needs more air to grow, so there will be an initial explosion type force that occurs as the fire feeds off the newly available air. 

The same thing goes for you.

When you start to pour self-love into your life, don’t be surprised if you feel an explosion type force that makes you want to quit. Next week we’ll be talking all about your inner critic. For now, I want you to think of her as the fire in the room. She’s been building strength over the course of your entire life. Every mistake, every failure, every doubt, every flaw has fueled her fire.

Real talk: Just because you’ve started your self-love journey does NOT mean that your inner critic is going gentle into the night (like Dylan Thomas once wrote). Nah, boo, she gon’ come at you full force. She’s gon’ tell you that what you’re doing isn’t real, that it feels fake because you don’t know what you’re doing, that you’re unlovable and nothing you do can change that. 

She’s a bully and she’s had years to perfect her craft.

When this happens (and it will -- it happens to ALL of us), resolve to show yourself loving kindness. In the moments where she’s trying to push you into the fire of negativity, perhaps the most loving and kind thing you can do is to remind yourself that, just because your inner critic exists, does NOT mean she gets to call the shots. Or use my favorite mantra, “NO MATTER WHAT,” to center you in your resolve.

Now it’s your turn. Leave a comment below and let me know how you’re resolving to be kind. What does that look like in your life.

I’m cheering for you. Like you’ve kicked down the door and you’re saving the day.