👏🏽 You. 👏🏽 Are. 👏🏽 Not. 👏🏽 Failing.👏🏽
Happy Monday, HB!
I want to share with you a life hack that has made all the difference in my life: stop comparing your Day One to someone else’s Year 10.
Let that marinate.
I’m gonna keep it real: I am guilty of this offense. You see, self-help is the new black. There are literally a million life coaches and they sure do have some snazzy stuff. I see it all over Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. I sign up for their checklists, meditations and I read their newsletters. In their pictures, they are beautiful, poised and they give me that knowing smile like, “Trust me. I’ll show you the way.”
At first, I used to get super bummed out because of their success. Let me explain: it’s not that I didn’t want them to be successful (Rock on with your bad self, boo. I’m all about people living the life of their dreams and helping others). It just painfully highlighted the fact that I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be in my own business.
I now understand that I was viewing success as a zero sum game (Translation: there is a finite amount of success going around. If she’s the winner, then someone -- meaning me-- must be the loser because there’s only so much success to go around).
Is this happening to you?
Are you scrolling Facebook, looking at all of the picture perfect couples celebrating anniversaries, declaring their love and looking uber perfect in their gorge outfits? Does it make you feel some type of way that all of your girlfriends are purchasing their first homes, but you’re still renting and nowhere near ready? Do you feel like you’re falling behind in your fitness goals while others are lifting 50 pounds with their pinky?
I totally get it because I’ve been there myself.
So how did I get over this nasty game of comparison? I had to reframe my point of view. When I found myself going down the rabbit hole of comparison, I had to gently remind myself that the Universe is filled with infinite possibilities and that it definitely does NOT play a zero sum game. God loves each of us and all of us, all at the same time.
Someone else’s success does not mean that God is withholding your blessing. The timing of your life is unique and customized 100% for you and only you.
I hope that you’ll reframe the way you’re looking at the Year 10 people -- they are showing you what’s possible for you. Don’t let this “instaculture” fool you -- anything worthwhile usually takes time. When you peel back the layer of a so-called “overnight success,” you’ll actually find someone who has spent years grinding in the unknown for a really long time. It appears that they’ve shot out of nowhere, but, most of the time, this isn’t the case.
I also want you to remember that everyone, even those perfect people you see on social media, is going thru something. Most of us aren’t talking about it or posting about it (and I really wish we would -- it would alleviate a tremendous amount of pressure for all of us). Whether it’s illness, job loss, heartbreak, or just feeling overwhelmed by life, we are all trying to do the best we can with what we’ve got.
The mountain you’re facing is showing you that you have the strength to climb it. The sickness is showing you the resilience of your body. The heartbreak is inviting you to hug in and nurture yourself.
Every single moment of your life is filled with God’s goodness. I want you to consider that you are viewing your life from a rabbit hole, while God has the eagle eye view.
HB, you are not failing. You are not falling behind. You are not forgotten. In fact, you are right where you’re supposed to be. Can you be open and trust that today?
Now it’s your turn. Hit reply and let me know where in your life you feel like you’re failing. How can you reframe this sense of failure?
I’m cheering for you. Like you’re right on time.