My 3 Tips for Starting Your Self-Love Journey
Happy Monday, HB!
This is your first official 2019 weekly newsletter and I am thrilled. I believe that this is the perfect time for new beginnings, new dreams and a renewed commitment to your spiritual path.
You may notice that I have re-branded the “Maven Musings Monday” newsletter to the "Honey Bunny Inner Circle (HBIC)" weekly newsletter. I realize that HBIC also has another meaning and you know I love a good play on words.
I've never really given you any background on why I call you "Honey Bunny." I started using this phrase approximately 12 years ago as a term of endearment for my close friends.
It's actually much deeper than a cute nickname for my inner circle:
1) HONEY 🍯-- Honey pretty much symbolizes everything good in life -- it denotes delight, a connection to the divine and healing. Since bees collect honey together, it also symbolizes unity. It can signify rebirth, ease and good health. When the Israelites left Egypt, they set off to the Promised Land, which was described as a land flowing with milk and honey.
2) BUNNY 🐰-- Bunnies are thought to symbolize abundance, prosperity and longevity. "If you have the rabbit totem in your life, it just means that you have no problem expressing happiness and affection when it comes to people you love ... You are quick on your feet when it comes to doing the things that you love, and you are fast in recognizing opportunities that will get you closer to your goals," writes Imelda in this article.
I believe in the power of words.
When I call you Honey Bunny, what I am really saying is that I declare that blessings will pour into your life. I pray that your life overflows with delight, healing, ease, good health, happiness, prosperity and love. I am calling you worthy, loved, seen and understood. I am proclaiming that it's a new day for you and that you have the power within to create a life of your own choosing.
I know it sounds super cheesy AND I acknowledge that I'm a pretty cheesy person -- I cry easily and I love with everything I am. I love snail mail and romantic comedies. I am that friend that will hype you up while you're on the dance floor and have your back when you confront your bullies (ain't nobody punkin' you on my watch, boo).
If you're down with that, you're one of my HBs and I will rock with you forever. Pinky promise.
I also want to let you know that I am spending the first three months of 2019 taking a deep dive into the world of self-love. I get many e-mails from ya'll, asking me how you can love yourselves more, feel more confident in your own skin and own what you are creating in the world.
Today I’m going to give you three tips on how to begin your self-love journey powerfully:
1. Figure out what your stories are.
Stories abound in our lives. We use them to relate to life and to give meaning to what happens to us, even if we aren’t aware that we are doing so. I’ve talked a lot about the “story” that I told myself that I wasn’t good with numbers. I told myself this story for years. It was only when I got my MBA at Rice University that I was able to confront this story and realize that I had been believing a lie for pretty much my entire life. I am good with numbers. I do understand them. I can excel at a job that deals primarily with numbers.
Another example (that I experienced last year) is the “story” of my appearance. As many of you know, I suffered from postpartum hair loss after Lyric was born in 2017. I said, “I’m not dealing with this ish” and I cut my hair super short. As my hair started to grow back, I found myself in the super awkward, ugly hair phase. In today’s world of filters and photoshop, I started to hide from taking pictures and teaching on Instagram and Facebook Live, even though I love teaching and sharing with you all that I have learned. I was judging myself so hard. The “story” I told myself is that I need to show up perfect and looking glamorous in order for ya’ll to accept my message and take it to heart.
Nothing is farther from the truth. If anything, when I’m real about my insecurity, it resonates with you because you also have moments where you hate your hair, too.
I finally got clear on the story I had been telling myself and I decided it wasn’t going to stop me anymore. What I’m up to is more important than my vanity or my ego. In fact, by accepting my awkward hair, I give you the opportunity to accept the parts of you that you don’t like.
So I’ll be all over social media this year, rocking my awkward hair and mombie bags under my eyes because I am more than a filter and what I have to say is important. I’m going to change that “story” of self-loathing into a powerful one of self-acceptance and self-love.
2. Consider that, at any given moment, you don’t know the full story.
At the end of last year, I began my training to become a Yes Supply Certified Life Coach. I decided to do this training because I want to continue to offer my clients and my readers even more value that you can take and implement in your life. I am being trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), T.I.M.E. Techniques, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) and Clinical Hypnotherapy.
One thing that I learned is that, at any given moment, there are 2 million bits of information swirling around us. However, our conscious mind is only able to process 126 bits of this information at any given moment.
Why is this important? Well, it means at any given moment, we are NOT seeing the full picture. We aren’t even seeing half of the picture.
In fact, the 126 bits that our conscious mind does take has been distorted, deleted, or generalized based on our time, location, mood, beliefs, etc.
So when you find yourself in a funk, going down the rabbit hole of self-loathing, remember that you are NOT seeing the full picture. Interrupt your thoughts by bringing your attention to your breath for one minute. This simple exercise will help you reset your mind and ground you in the present moment.
3. Forgive yourself and start over as many times as needed.
Loving yourself is creating a new way of being that is different from what you have always done. Your self-love is a muscle that you exercise. So when you are starting to love yourself, it’s like you’re going back to the gym for the first time after a long time.
Let’s say you’ve been doing a good job at going back to the gym and then, all of a sudden, you skip a day. Instead of beating yourself up because you didn’t live up to the standard you have set for yourself, forgive yourself and start over again.
The same goes with self-love.
There may be moments where you catch yourself going back into default mode and treating yourself like crap.
Instead of feeling bad for feeling bad, simply say out loud, “I forgive myself and I choose to start over.” Get back in alignment with your intention of increasing your self-love as quickly as possible and as many times as you need to.
You’re like a baby learning to walk. No one ever says, “Silly baby, you can’t do anything right. You fell. You shouldn’t be falling. Get it right.”
Not at all. We encourage the baby. We say, “It’s okay, baby. Get back up. Try again. You can do this.” Little by little, the baby learns how to implement her balance and fire up her leg muscles to move forward, step by step.
The same goes for you.
You are learning every single day that you live and you are remembering how to love yourself. I say “remember” because you were born knowing how to love yourself. You picked up your attitude about self-love along the way and now you’re in the process of unlearning and dispelling anything that doesn’t serve your highest good.
Now it’s your turn. Hit reply and let me know what your “story” is.
I’m cheering for you. Like it’s the first day of your best life.
From the Front Row,
Master Life Coach + Motivational Speaker