Real talk -- January was pretty rough, honey bunny.
My “New Year, New Me” endeavor didn’t go as well as I had planned. I went to the gym five days straight and then my left knee said, “No más, LaTisha.” I’m talking barely can stand, hurts to walk pain that I’ve never had before. What did I feel?
- Embarrassment -- Who goes to the gym and, in the first week, blows her knee out? Really?
- Fear. -- Omg, am I gonna need surgery?
- Beratement -- LaTisha, wtf is up with you? Get your crap together and let’s get going. We got stuff to do and we don’t have time for your laziness and your complaints. You don’t see the other new moms on IG having these issues. They look fabulous and so do their babies. (In all fairness, Lyric is so yummy that she could wear a baby potato sack and still look fabulous.)
Oh, and I’ve got this funky wrist thing going on, probably from being on my smartphone too much. Smartphone got me feelin' mad dumb right now. See what I did there?!?!
Not to mention the up and down journey that is breastfeeding. I’ll spare you the details.
All the while I keep asking myself, “Why have moms not taken to the street to riot?” This stuff is hard. Being present for my business, my body, and my daughter while trying to get ample sleep and eating healthy. I’m lucky if I remember to shower. Disgusting and true.
I often feel so very defeated. I have collapsed into tears more often than I’d like to admit.
Then, there’s that damn word “should:”
- You should be able to get this done.
- You should be much farther down the path than you are.
- You should not be crying about how tired you are, especially since you’re the one who prayed so hard for this baby.
Should. Should. Should.
And it’s not just the moms feeling this way. In a world where we see “perfection” everywhere we turn, it’s so easy to feel that what we’re doing isn’t enough and that for every 2 steps forward we are taking 10 steps back.
Here are three things I want you to remember (and what I have to remind myself of pretty much every single day):
1) This too shall pass.
It won’t always be this way. I promise you. The only constant in life is change. Tomorrow is a new day. My mantra has been, “My mind is cleansed. My thoughts are fresh, new, and vital.” (Where would I be without Louise Hay?) To me, this means that I can honor my feelings, let them go, and then let myself be washed clean. After all, tears are just bubble bath for the soul.
2) You are enough. Just as you are. Right Now.
You are doing the best you can and, yes, that is enough. Even if no one recognizes how hard you’re trying, you are seen and loved by a power greater than you. You deserve a big, beautiful life. As Nayyirah Waheed writes,
3) It’s okay to rest.
If you keep forcing it, it will fail. Even if you can’t take a much needed nap right now, give your mind a rest. The wheels are always turning in your brain and it’s tiring. It’s okay to let your forcefield down and feel the cool breeze caress your face. You can put the cape back on tomorrow.
I'm cheering you on. Tenderly.
From the Front Row,