In today's society, there is a pervading pressure to have it all and be it all -- the career, the physical fitness, the hot significant, the angel children, the pristine house, the sense of purpose and certainty in our own skin, the volunteer work, etc.
We are expected to wake up, meditate, get a run in, cook and eat a healthy breakfast consisting of locally grown organic food, get the kids ready for school, watch the news to be well-informed, dress to the nines, work a grueling 12 hour day, somehow be home in time to resume our parent of the year duties, which include preparing a delicious, healthy meal for the kids, helping them with their homework, bath time, playtime, bedtime, all the while being fully engaged, then clean up the entire house, do dishes and laundry, spend time with our significant other to keep the romance alive, work on our side passions, read a good book, and get 8 hours of sleep. You have just read one of the longest run-on sentences ever created -- I'm tired just thinking about it. What about you?
Here is the first of 5 myths about having it all that we need to dismantle for the sake of our sanity --
Myth #1 Having it all should be easy.
We receive a lot of pressure to get it all right all at once. Whether it's from our family, friends, co-workers, supervisors, advertising, etc., we are constantly bombarded with the message that we should have our shit together. We should be the Superman of our own lives. Our internal dialogue has absorbed years of criticism, judgment, and harshness and can replay this back to us constantly. I recently heard on a Davidji podcast that on average, we think upwards of 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day. If even 20% of those thoughts are putting pressure on you to have it all, that is anywhere from 12,000 to 16,000 thoughts a day. That's a lot of negative thinking!
Reality: Having it all is hard.
The world is more complex every single day. Our to-do lists get inundated by other people's priorities and needs, not to mention our own priorities. Give yourself the gift of your own compassion. You are doing the best you can with what you have. Having it all is not easy. It takes dedication, commitment, and consistency.
Soul Work: Monitor your internal dialogue.
- How often are you beating yourself up or putting pressure on yourself to have it all?
- What are the common themes that replay over and over in your mind on a daily basis?
- How does it make you feel physically?
Notice, but don't beat yourself up for beating yourself up. It's a vicious cycle -- make the decision to have some compassion on yourself.
Having it all is not easy. It is hard work to juggle everything that we've got going on. Self-compassion is essential if we want to work towards our goals intentionally.
Comment below and let me know what common themes replay over and over in your mind.
Your soul is rooting for you and so am I.
P/S Please share with a friend who is also striving to have it all.