In today's society, there is a pervading pressure to have it all and be it all -- the career, the physical fitness, the hot significant, the angel children, the pristine house, the sense of purpose and certainty in our own skin, the volunteer work, etc.
We are expected to wake up, meditate, get a run in, cook and eat a healthy breakfast consisting of locally grown organic food, get the kids ready for school, watch the news to be well-informed, dress to the nines, work a grueling 12 hour day, somehow be home in time to resume our parent of the year duties, which include preparing a delicious, healthy meal for the kids, helping them with their homework, bathtime, playtime, bedtime, all the while being fully engaged, then clean up the entire house, do dishes and laundry, spend time with our significant other to keep the romance alive, work on our side passions, read a good book, and get 8 hours of sleep. You have just read one of the longest run-on sentences ever created -- I'm tired just thinking about it. What about you?
Here is the fourth of 5 myths about having it all that we need to dismantle for the sake of our sanity --
4) Having it all means that we will never struggle again.
Don't you just hate it when you see someone who seems to have his or her shit together? Here you are barely making it (the baby was up all night and you got 3 hours of sleep) and this person is put together, perky, and playing big. The nerve! It's so easy to see the seeming success of others and just spiral into "I suck. They rock" mode. Once we have it all, we'll never struggle again. It'll be all sunshine and roses. We'll be the put together, perky ones with perfect hair.
Truth: Everyone poops.
My apologies for the crassness -- what can I say? I'm a Sagittarius. No one lives life 100% struggle free, no matter how perfect their life seems from the outside looking in. That person you see at work who is making shit happen may feel like the world's worst parent at home -- he or she is so busy at the office that Lil' Johnny has yet to see his or her face at his soccer games. Or that stay at home mom who volunteers for everything at school and rocks all the PTA events is compensating for the sheer loneliness of an always working husband.
People rarely show us what's under the hood. Oftentimes, we are all just getting by with the pressures of having the career, the significant other, the kids, the house, etc.
Soul Work: Talk about it.
I think that envy is a useless feeling and deserves a major re-frame. Other people show us what is possible for ourselves. Instead letting envy fester in the darkness, stand out in the sunshine by asking the person in question the reason for their success. What are their best practices? Don't be hard-headed. Learn from them. You might also make a friend in the process. It's when you get out of your comfort zone and get vulnerable that the universe has an opportunity to bless you.
Your soul is rooting for you and so am I.